Remembering Mom Today

..."And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;

They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.

Through the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth." ...

- from "The Prophet", by Kahlil Gibran

Live Bold

This is Destiny

This is my friend Nina's precious pet. Sadly, Destiny is no longer with us, but her spirit lives on.

Nina lives an artful and art-filled life. Every time I visit her home, she's reinvented and redecorated another space or created something new. She's full of energy and gives graciously. I have one of her paintings, entitled "Live Bold". Living bold, for me, is not easy. But I'm learning. I'm glad I have friends who inspire me and remind me to live life creatively and in the moment.

Another Perfect Moment Captured

There's a saying: There are no perfect days, only perfect moments.

Umberto

One of my boys. He makes me smile.

Delicate, Perfect, and Free

A visitor to my garden

Where Did The Silliness Go?

I've just recently reconnected with a friend from high school. About 10 years ago we got together briefly before losing touch again. In her last e-mail she mentioned she could tell something had changed in my style / tone of writing since we found each other again. She wondered where the fun and silliness had gone, while also recognizing the stress I'm currently under. Even so, I wonder myself where the silliness went. I can't remember the last time I was carefree and totally happy. I feel like I've been carrying around the weight of the world forever. When did I become so serious?

I searched my photo files to try and come up with a silly picture and a story to tell. I found the perfect one. This one's for you, Tracy:

Last year, when Melody turned 14, she asked for one thing. Naturally, she waited until the night before her birthday to ask, and I found myself scratching my head and scrambling to fulfill her only wish: "I want a special cake. Not just a regular decorated cake. But something spectacular!"

Great. Where am I gonna find that, I asked myself.

But seeing that I always try to please those I love, especially on birthdays, I decided to go ahead and get the regular old boring Publix cake, but I'd embellish it. Yep. I bought swizzle sticks and candy sea shells, jelly beans, multicolored crystal sugar sprinkles, and chocolate covered candy coated sunflower seeds. The piece de resistance, however, was an acrobatic frog. Oh, yeah. This cake was fan-tabulous!

She loved it, of course, and we all giggled and had fun making the frog jump. (I think I went too far, though. Those chocolate covered candy coated sunflower seeds reminded me of technicolored hamster droppings. I never do know when to stop.)

My oldest daughter, Rachel, observed all this quietly and refrained from making any derogatory comments with regards to my artistic cake decorating abilities. (I was impressed with her restraint.) But afterward, once we'd eaten our cake and ice cream, she goes, "Mom. For my birthday? I don't want a pimped out cake."

Pimped out cake.

Happy Birthday!

Gather Ye Rosebuds While Ye May

and

Carpe Diem, Y'all









Two of my friends, Michele and Mario, share the same birthday today. I'm wishing you both a very, very happy day.

Michele is an astrologer as well as a gifted writer and dancer, and those are just a few of her many talents. Both my May 20th friends are gifted communicators. Both friends were born outside the US and both inspire and encourage others. I'm fortunate to know you two.

The two pictures I've chosen for this blog entry were taken one year ago, May 2009, during my solo trip to the Biltmore House in Asheville, NC. I think it was a fated trip. Even though I had never been there before, the landscape seemed familiar and I kept having de ja vue moments. Especially when I got lost and kept driving around and around trying to find the exit I was looking for. I experienced that exact situation in a dream years ago. Asheville was unfamiliar at the time of my dream, but I recognized it once I arrived.

I also dreamed one time that I was lost in a dense fog. I was wandering alone in a strange sea side town. I could hear water lapping against the moored boats, even though I couldn't see them through the misty, gray veil. I could hear sails rustling in the breeze and metal clanking against metal as the waves gently rocked the boats. I could smell and taste the salt air, and feel moisture from the invisible sea against my skin. I was lost and searching for someone. Eventually I found my way to the beach. There were many people there, all having a good time. There was music and dancing and bonfires and food and drink and laughter. Yet I still wandered alone. Searching.

I'm sharing this dream because Michele told me that I've been living in a fog of denial for years. She's not being cruel, just honest. Plus she has the gift of insight. She has an uncanny ability to get right to the heart of the matter.

I also believe that my unconscious mind has been trying to wake me up for a long time. Sometimes we need a jolt, as painful as that may be.

It's time for me to walk out of the fog and embrace the sunshine.

Water Lilies

For when you need a little Zen.

Transformation

Do you see it?

The phoenix rising from the flames.

After The Rain

I know there's a silver lining.

Beauty Everywhere

One time, when my youngest daughter was not quite three, she sat outside my closed bathroom door while I got ready for work. As I was brushing my hair, I heard her musical little voice say, "Mom, are you brushing your hair?" And I replied with a smile on my face, "Yes, Melody. How did you know?" (I knew she could hear the sound of the bristles as they brushed.)

She got very quiet, then I heard her sigh. She said, just a little bit exasperated, "There's beauty everywhere, Mom."

Yes there is, Tiny Teacher. There's even music in my hair.

Where there is life, there is beauty. Even during times of trouble, we just have to look, listen, touch, taste and smell to recognize it.

My Tiny Teacher just turned 15 and as I face divorce after almost 23 years of marriage, I hold her lesson dear to my heart. No matter what, beauty remains, if we are open to finding it.